Advice

  1. Learn to put on your bracelets and zip up your dresses by yourself. There will be times when you will be alone.
  2. Get on a long plane ride. Look out the window. Understand the immensity of our world. Understand your insignificance. Understand your absolute importance.
  3. Press the send button. If you don’t say it now, you never will.
  4. Do not sneer at happiness or roll your eyes at sadness. Be aware that apathy is not healthy.
  5. You are more than the amount of people who want to have sex with you.
  6. That pit in your stomach when he doesn’t text you back, it shouldn’t be there. No one should be able to control you like that.
  7. Shopping is cathartic. Buy the shoes and deal with one-ply toilet paper for a while.
  8. It will get better, but it will never be perfect. Learn to live through the small moments of happiness. When they disappear, remember they will resurface.
  9. I promise that cookie will not change anything (except that it will make you smile).
  10. Please, please, take care of yourself. You are everything to somebody. You are everything to your self. That alone is enough.
  • don’t be angry at yourself when anxiety/depression flares up. it isn’t your fault and no one blames you and if they do they’re pieces of shit.
  • don’t orbit around your perceived value so much. you’re not the sum total of what you produce.
  • don’t let yourself wonder why people love you. that’s not how it works. there are not stark, individual reasons that a person can enumerate about why they love you. it’s the entire, unique combination of what and who you are.

  • Be careful who you vent to.
  • “
    1. If you don’t like the way he kisses you, you won’t like the way he fucks you. Get up and leave.
    2. If he won’t go down on you, but expects you to go down on him, laugh. Get up and leave.
    3. If you don’t want to do something and he doesn’t respect that, slap him round the face. Get up and leave.
    4. If he isn’t okay with the imperfections on your skin, if he says they turn him off, get up and leave.
    5. If you don’t want to shave your legs and he thinks that’s disgusting and refuses to touch them, get up and leave.
    6. If he doesn’t see your body as a masterpiece, as a complete work of art, get up and leave.
    7. If he makes you feel uncomfortable about any part of your body, get up and leave.
  • Dear future child
    If it’s 3am and you find yourself in a world of complete despair
    Please do not turn to strangers on the internet for solace as I did
    Please climb onto my bed
    And I will hold you until the demons sleep
    If it is Thursday morning and you are too sad to move
    I won’t force you
    I will buy ice cream and we will watch your favourite tv show and I will remind you of your importance
    If you feel as if you have no purpose 
    I will remind you that you were created entirely with love and every pain you feel, I feel too
    When you’re sure you can’t go on anymore
    I will tell you that when I was 21 I searched for peace at the bottom of a vodka bottle chased by a bottle of pain killers 
    But that five years later
    When you were placed in my arms in the delivery room
    I realised that you were why I had been holding on
    Without realising it, you saved me, do you know how amazing that is?
    So if you ever feel like grabbing that vodka bottle, put it down, we will get in the car and I will drive until the sky turns magenta
    I will show you how the sun rises every morning to encourage you to rise too
    Sweetheart I refuse to be unaware of your sufferings 
    As my mother was to mine.    ”
  • “
    How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
    Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
    If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
    “You look so healthy!” is a great one.
    Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”
    “I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”
    Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
    Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
    Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
    Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
    Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
    Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
    Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
    Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
    Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
    Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
    Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
    Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.
    ”
  • When you are 13 years old,
    the heat will be turned up too high
    and the stars will not be in your favor.
    You will hide behind a bookcase
    with your family and everything left behind.
    You will pour an ocean into a diary.
    When they find you, you will be nothing
    but a spark above a burning bush,
    still, tell them
    Despite everything, I really believe people are good at heart.
    When you are 14,
    a voice will call you to greatness.
    When the doubters call you crazy, do not listen.
    They don’t know the sound
    of their own God’s whisper. Use your armor,
    use your sword, use your two good hands.
    Do not let their doubting
    drown out the sound of your own heartbeat.
    You are the Maid of Untamed Patriotism.
    Born to lead armies into victory and unite a nation
    like a broken heart.
    When you are 15, you will be punished
    for learning too proudly. A man
    will climb onto your school bus and insist
    your sisters name you enemy.
    When you do not hide,
    he will point his gun at your temple
    and fire three times. Three years later,
    in an ocean of words, with no apologies,
    you will stand before the leaders of the world
    and tell them your country is burning.
    When you are 16 years old,
    you will invent science fiction.
    The story of a man named Frankenstein
    and his creation. Soon after you will learn
    that little girls with big ideas are more terrifying
    than monsters, but don’t worry.
    You will be remembered long after
    they have put down their torches.
    When you are 17 years old,
    you will strike out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig
    one right after the other.
    Men will be afraid of the lightening
    in your fingertips. A few days later
    you will be fired from the major leagues
    because “Girls are too delicate to play baseball”
    You will turn 18 with a baby on your back
    leading Lewis and Clark
    across North America.
    You will turn 18
    and become queen of the Nile.
    You will turn 18
    and bring justice to journalism.
    You are now 18, standing on the precipice,
    trembling before your own greatness.
    This is your call to leap.
    There will always being those
    who say you are too young and delicate
    to make anything happen for yourself.
    They don’t see the part of you that smolders.
    Don’t let their doubting drown out the sound
    of your own heartbeat.
    You are the first drop of a hurricane.
    Your bravery builds beyond you. You are needed
    by all the little girls still living in secret,
    writing oceans made of monsters and
    throwing like lightening.
    You don’t need to grow up to find greatness.
    You are stronger than the world has ever believed you to be.
    The world laid out before you to set on fire.
    All you have to do
    is burn.
    ”

  • 1. If you like someone, don’t pretend you don’t.

    If the person then runs for the hills, ask yourself what the point was for investing any further emotion, anyway?

    2. GO ON DATES.

    They aren’t an extinct practice. Going to the movies with someone doesn’t mean you’re signing a marriage license. It’s for fun, you guys.

    3. Don’t use your past relationships as a crutch that enables you to fear commitment.

    We have all had relationships that failed. If you use those problems to justify your twisted actions in every future romantic encounter, you will waste many potentially successful relationships.

    4. Don’t alter what you want.

    If you want a relationship and someone else doesn’t, don’t settle for his or her sake. That would be like playing a board game without getting to roll your own dice.

    5. Stop caring about what people will think.

    The connotations that surround dating and relationships are so blurred and disfigured at this point that you will drive yourself crazy trying to figure out how to please everyone.

    6. Quit using people.

    Don’t use others for the way they make you look to other people. Don’t use them for physical reasons. Don’t use them because you’re lonely. Just don’t use them.
    You use a mop to clean the floor. You use a match to start a fire. Youdon’t use human beings to satisfy your own needs.

    7. Find out who people actually are.

    Go ahead; ask about their little sisters and whether they’re more afraid of spiders or snakes. There’s nothing wrong with learning more about people than the fact that they like Fireball whiskey and study engineering.

    8. Have chivalry and respect in every way.

    As the age-old saying goes, always treat others as you wish to be treated. No one deserves anything less than your utmost respect.

    9. Stop playing with other people’s emotions.

    If you know that you are dragging someone along for selfish reasons, put yourself in his or her shoes and do the decent thing. Just be honest.

    10. Stop settling.

    If you want that girl with the curly blonde hair and 4.0 who you hardly know, go for it. You aren’t beneath anyone or anything; you can have a dream and you are the largest obstacle standing in the way of it actually happening.
    Stop feeling like you are limited to certain people; you’ll only grow to be unsatisfied with that limited group.

    11. Don’t be afraid to be corny.

    Just be you. If simple things like a “good morning” text or an impromptu smoothie date is how you want to show interest in someone, go for it. Be dorky and stop worrying about satisfying the status quo.

    12. Take all of the physical aspects of your relationship slowly.

    I know this one is difficult to grasp, but let’s be completely honest about the fact that intimacy complicates things. Why add one more complication before you can trust someone?

    13. Don’t try to make someone jealous.

    It will never lead the person to like you more. I’ll never understand why we seem to think that it’s a viable option in any situation.

    14. Let go of any preconceived expectations you have for someone.

    Trust me, you really have no idea what you want and dismissing people based upon your specific criteria could lead you to really miss out.

    15. Realize that you are young and dating is about learning.

    It’s not about the best “hookup” or even necessarily about handpicking your perfect life partner. We are young. Dating is for learning about others and about yourself in a way that is fun and will bring you happiness.
    Treat others with respect and let them make you awkwardly giggle as your heart flutters. Meet new people and their friends. Visit new places and understand unique ideas and perspectives.
    Stop trying to navigate through it like a game that you can manipulate to achieve the best outcome without much risk. Be simple. Be kind. Be happy.
    We are responsible for making this more complicated than it needs to be. It isn’t a game; it’s just other people. Stop counting cards and start counting smiles.
  • IF SOMEONE MAKES YOU FEEL BAD FOR THE BANDS YOU LISTEN TO OR THE WAY YOU TAKE YOUR COFFEE OR HOW YOU WEAR YOUR HAIR OR WHAT YOU WEAR OR THE WAY YOUR LAUGH SOUNDS THEN FUCKING DROP THEM LIKE THE PIECE OF SHIT THEY ARE AND GO FIND SOMEONE WHO THINKS YOUR LAUGH SOUNDS LIKE THE BEST GODDAMN SONG THEY’VE EVER HEARD AND OFFERS TO MAKE YOUR COFFEE FOR YOU AND THINKS YOU DRESS LIKE ART
  • If you look at the fact that you have a roof over your head, food to eat, that you are young and beautiful and live in a peaceful land, then no, you have nothing to be sad about. But the fact is, we are not only a physical body, we have souls too, and sometimes our souls get sick. If you break a leg you don’t just say ‘I have no reason to have a broken leg’ and ignore it; you seek help. It’s the same when your soul gets hurt. Don’t apologize for being sad.”
  • every day:

    • go outside to feel the sun (5-15 minutes is recommended)
    • if there is no sun step outside and inhale fresh air
    • drink water - the more cups the better
    • listen to one song that makes you happy
    • talk to one person you like - do not hesitate to reach out
    • stretch; don’t forget about your body
    • smile in the mirror

  • If someone cheats on you they do not love you, remember that. If someone cheats on you they do not care about you as much as they say they do. If someone cheats on you it means that for a split second you were off their mind long enough for them to put another person in arms that should only be for you. If someone cheats on you, dear god, I hope you don’t go back to them because you are worth so much more than that.
  • parenting tip: talk to your kids about mental illness. tell them they might have a hard time. tell them they can ask for therapy and medication. tell them they aren’t alone. tell them if your family has a history of mental illnesses and which ones. just fucking talk to your kids and be there for them.
  • “I firmly believe in small gestures: pay for their coffee, hold the door for strangers, over tip, smile or try to be kind even when you don’t feel like it, pay compliments, chase the kid’s runaway ball down the sidewalk and throw it back to him, try to be larger than you are— particularly when it’s difficult. People do notice, people appreciate. I appreciate it when it’s done to (for) me. Small gestures can be an effort, or actually go against our grain (“I’m not a big one for paying compliments…”), but the irony is that almost every time you make them, you feel better about yourself. For a moment life suddenly feels lighter, a bit more Gene Kelly dancing in the rain.”
  • when someone cries because you said something nice to them, they’re someone who you need to protect because they haven’t seen enough kindness in the world.
  •  always had my head wrapped around the idea of getting into a wonderful university and getting a good job and getting married and having a family and being able to support them but for some reason now all i want to do is travel and eat new foods and meet new people and get a tan and buy a one way ticket and not come home

  • Don’t get distracted. Life is music and dancing in the kitchen and sweet watermelon in a yellow bowl and a dragonfly on your thigh and a faint sense that you’ve lived once or twice before and that breathing feels like a thing you’ve done for centuries.

    Don’t forget these things. Everything else is details
  • raise your boys so that they understand no means no, raise your boys so they realize that women are people and not either a matron or a whore, raise your boys and punish them when they do something that a girl doesnt like, if your son is pulling pigtails don’t laugh its bullying. its not cute its not adorable, its bullying. raise your goddamn boys so that they treat women like people and not fuck machines they can stick kindness coins into
  • “
    1. Appreciate your dad, you don’t know what will happen.
    2. If you don’t want to wear make up, don’t. For Christ sakes, you’re young and beautiful. Society can go fuck their self.
    3. It’s really okay to love yourself. Appreciate the funny curve of your nose, and that gap in your teeth make your smile prettier. Just because you don’t look like that girl in the magazine doesn’t mean you can’t tell yourself you’re beautiful every now and then.
    4. Do what makes you happy. I know you’ve heard this a million times, but I can’t stress this enough. Go after your dream job even if it goes against every thing your parents wanted. If you don’t like where you live, move. Your friends don’t make you laugh until your sides hurt? You don’t have to be friends with them anymore. You’re in control. No one else. Don’t fall under the pressure of pleasing people. Please yourself and live for you.
    5. Love who you want. Regardless of gender, skin color, or societal views. Please never give up true love because you’re scared. Love is a beautiful, beautiful thing, and if you’re lucky enough to come across it don’t you dare walk away from it because of what others will think. Take the looks, the whispers, and the criticism with a smile, grab your lovers hand, and if you’re feeling extra happy, kiss them for the world to see. Let me tell you, the world is only jealous because they simply can’t understand.
    6. Take long showers and lay on your bed naked after, sing too loud, sleep through your classes one day, and another day just don’t leave the couch. It’s okay to just decide you don’t have responsibilities for a little bit. Everyone needs a day ever so often to just relax. It’s okay to be lazy. It’s okay to sleep for 12 hours straight. It’s okay to go to bed at 6 AM because you’re reading and wake up at 3 the next day. Treat yourself, but most importantly love yourself enough to give yourself time to breathe.
    7. Alone time is good for the soul. I truly believe that. I think it’s good to cancel your plans sometimes, close your door, turn off your phone, and play some John Mayer (or whatever your prefer). Maybe you could read a book, or hell even write one if you’re up for it. But take some time to yourself and learn to be happy with just you and the sound of your breathing. At the end of the day, you are the only person that is guaranteed to stick around, so you might as well learn to enjoy the way laugh at your own jokes or the way you pronounce words when you read aloud. Being comfortable alone is more important than you know.
    8. It’s okay to be 20 and still love Disney movies. It’s not even a guilty pleasure. Everyone has their favorite whether they admit it or not.
    9. Do not compromise who you are to impress someone else. You are a wonderfully constructed individual. Your trials, experiences, and life all together have sculpted you into the most lovely version of you possible. If a person doesn’t like the way you live, from your sex life to your music taste, who cares? You were not put on this earth to impress them, or anyone for that matter. Impress yourself. Stick to what you want, stand up for what you believe, and tell people to screw off if they have an issue with any of it. It’s your life.
    10. High school does not in any manner prepare you for college. One time my teacher dismissed class early because a kid fell down the stairs and he was laughing too hard to continue the lecture. That’s all I have to say about that subject.
    11. I know you’re making a ton of new friends at this stage in your life, but don’t forget whose been there from the start. Your new friends may be exciting and wonderful and the best friends you could imagine but the ones that knew you back in middle school and were still there for you are genuine. If they loved your through your awkward phase, they’re probably in it for the long run. So send some love their way ever so often. When you’re older, you’ll be glad you did.
    12. Your mom will probably cry a lot during the next few years. Let her. Hug her. Cry with her. She just wants you happy at the end of the day. You’re growing up, and life’s exciting, but you have to remember that you’re her baby, and the more you find yourself, the more she feels she’s losing you. I know you’re getting older, but so is she. Spend Sunday afternoons telling her about your life or reading her your new poetry. She’ll appreciate that so much, and you will too later on.
    13. It’s okay to get drunk. Whether it be just for fun or that you need liquid courage to text an ex, it’s completely fine. And you know what else is completely fine? Not getting drunk. It’s okay to be the mom, the DD, or to not even show up to the party at all. It’s all okay. But you know what isn’t? Judging whatever decisions your peers make. So what there was a photo posted and that girl you went to high school with was wasted? It’s not really any of your business is it. And if that guy decided to go to that poetry reading and skipped the biggest party of the year, It’s really not effecting you at all, so don’t act like it does.
    14. Stop glamorizing sadness. Sadness is not beautiful. It does not glow. Disorders are not something to make light of, and scars are not something to be ignored. Be proud of who you are. Eat that hamburger, and put the razor down. And most importantly, smile. Happiness is by far the most beautiful thing about a person.
    15. It will all be okay at the end of the day. Life has a funny way of working out.
    16. Speaking of funny, life literally never goes as planned. Don’t waste your time fretting over the future. Faith and destiny work hand in hand to make sure life keeps you on your toes.
    17. Karma is a real and powerful thing. Please try to keep it on your side. Your bad deeds catch up with you in a big way. Take your time to build up your good karma, and do some good for other people, even if the deeds are small. Put a quarter in an expired parking meter, serve food at a homeless shelter, or go visit an elderly person at the nursing homes. Good deeds are good for others, and good for your soul.
    18. You can never go wrong with pizza.
    19. Don’t wish your years away. I know you’re at that age where you’re responsible for your choices, but aren’t really considered an adult but you’ll want these years back. Being young is the most fantastic, exciting adventure you will ever endure. And when you get older you’ll wish for these years back, even all the bad days that came along with it. So enjoy your youth, relish in it. Because you will never be younger than you are right this second.
    20. And lastly, if you ever feel unloved and worthless, just know I love you and find the upmost worth in you. You’re destined for big things, now go get them.
    ”
  • “
    5 Things They Don’t Teach you in Highschool:
    1) You’re going to leave the house at 2AM, 16 with nothing in your pockets but 50 bucks and a bus ticket. It won’t feel real. You’re going to think you’re leaving, but you aren’t going anywhere.
    2) Swallow your fucking pride and go back inside. Lock your bedroom door, put your hands over your ears, bring your knees to your chest and when you’re ready, let your walls disintegrate and the sadness flood in, because baby I promise you, you’ll feel better if you just let yourself drown. Even if it’s the third goddamn time that week.
    3) He’s going to taste like Newports, Trident spearmint and desperation. You’re going to taste like Lime-a-Rita’s and anxiety. You will tell yourself you need this. But you don’t. I promise you. You don’t. You don’t.
    4) You’re going to have girlfriends who fall for boys who treat them like absolute shit. Do not learn from them. If a boy calls you a bitch, spit in his face and leave.
    5) Do it even if it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. Even if you’re still convinced that he was hiding galaxies beneath his skin. Because baby I promise you, he was the always dark night sky and you were always the full moon. No question bout’ it.
    ”
  • It’s 1am so I’m sorry for the people who won’t see this. But if you want confidence and don’t know how to get it, a really good way is to be confident in other people. When you walk into Starbucks, think, “damn, that barista’s hair is da bomb!” Or when you go to school, think, “my teacher is rocking that skirt!” When you start seeing everyone as being beautiful, at some point you realize that you’re everyone too
  • tell yourself you’re hot. tell yourself you’re amazing. tell yourself you’re untouchably, radiantly attractive. do it every day, even if it feels like you’re lying to yourself. insist to the mirror that you’re the cutest thing its ever reflected. if you do it enough eventually it wont feel like lying anymore, it’ll be automatic, and you’ll recognize yourself as the incredible babe you really are.
  • surround yourself with people who
    • praise you because they mean it
    • don’t want anything but your company
    • do their best to understand you
    • you feel like you can confront if you need to
    • (know they can confront you lovingly in turn)
    • make you feel comfortable
    • stick with you through good and bad times
    • are positive influences on your everyday life
  • IF YOUR BOYFRIEND MAKES JOKES ABOUT YOUR BODY, WEIGHT, EATING DISORDER, RECOVERY, ETC, MAKE A JOKE ABOUT HOW HE’S SINGLE AND THEN WALK OUT THE DOOR BECAUSE THAT IS SOME FUCKEN BULLSHIT AND YOU ARE A BAD BITCH WHO DESERVES BETTER OK OK
  •  “Read that book, wake up early in the morning and go for that run to start off your day. Buy the nicest underwear and wear it to boost your mood. Eat as clean as possible because you’ll feel so much better but treat yourself as well. Be kind to everyone. Go out to a cafe and watch people walk buy as you sip your coffee. Compliment that stranger! Start a conversation with that person on the bus. Read a book about food, about astronomy, learn a new language. Watch the sunrise. Get away for a weekend. Introduce yourself. Do yoga and go on a hike. Lay on the beach under the stars and have a dnm with your best friend. Dance around and sing at the top of yours lungs at that festival. Life is meant to be lived, not controlled.”
  • Always say yes to seeing friends
  • Eat breakfast every day
  • Recognize that positive change rarely happens overnight
  • Accept the fuck-ups, but try not to let them happen again
  • There is a song to remedy every situation on the planet
  • Appreciate the people in your life
  • Look for the good in everything
  • Try new things and try them often
  • Treat yourself as well as you treat others
  • “
    1. Don’t think that being published will make you happy. It will for four weeks, if you are lucky. Then it’s the same old fucking shit.
    2. Hemingway was fucking wrong. You shouldn’t write drunk. (See my third novel for details.)
    3. Hemingway was also right. ‘The first draft of everything is shit.’
    4. Never ask a publisher or agent what they are looking for. The best ones, if they are honest, don’t have a fucking clue, because the best books are the ones that seemingly come from nowhere.
    5. In five years time the semi-colon is going to be nothing more than a fucking wink.
    6. In five years time every fucking person on Twitter will be a writer.
    7. Ignore the fucking snobs. Write that space zombie sex opera. Just give it some fucking soul.
    8. If it’s not worth fucking reading, it’s not worth fucking writing. If it doesn’t make people laugh or cry or blow their fucking minds then why bother?
    9. Don’t be the next Stephen King or the next Zadie Smith or the next Neil Gaiman or the next Jonathan Safran fucking Foer. Be the next fucking you.
    10. Stories are fucking easy. PLOT OF EVERY BOOK EVER: Someone is looking for something. COMMERCIAL VERSION: They find it. LITERARY VERSION: They don’t find it. (That’s fucking it.)
    11. No-one knows anything. Especially fucking me. Except:
    12. Don’t kill off the fucking dog.
    13. Oh, yeah, and lastly: write whatever you fucking want
  • THE FACT THAT THIS IS CONCIDERED A AFUCKING HORRIBLE VIEW OF HOW GIRLS SEE THEMSELVES PISSES ME OFF AND MAKES ME WANT TO STAB MY BED OKAY
    LADIES
    LISTEN TO ME
    YOU ARE FIRECRACKERS
    YOU ARE A BLIZZARD
    YOU ARE AN APOCALYPSE OF LOVE AND RAGE
    YOU ARE NOT AND SHOULD NEVER BE DUMBED DOWN TO WHAT YOUR GODDAMN PERCENTAGE OF FAT TO MUSCLE IS 
    YOU ARE BROKEN BONES AND SCRAPED KNEES AND THROATED SCREAMS AND YOU 
    ARE
    BEAUTIFUL
    IF YOU LOOK LIKE THIS, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
    IF YOU DON’T LOOK LIKE THIS, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
    IF YOU THINK YOU LOOK LIKE THIS, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL 
    I AM SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF SEEING WONDERFUL, SMART, TALENTED, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL GIRLS HATING THEMSELVES BECAUSE OF AN UNREALISTIC EXPECTATION SET ON THEM AT A YOUNG AGE
    YOU ARE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE
    OWN IT
  • small things to do that make your mind feel clearer
    • close all your internet tabs except the one you’re using
    • delete all your text messages
    • delete negative people from social networks
    • throw some things away. just throw them away
    • tidy your desk. make a blank surface
    • drink 3 glasses of water
    • open the curtains
    • wash your face and brush your teeth
  • My therapist:Look at nature. Look at flowers. We never walk into our garden and say "Oh wouldn't that flower be so much more pretty if it were taller? Or red instead of pink?" No, we don't. Because nature was created perfect just as it is. And so are we. We are part of nature, we are how we're meant to be, we are perfect just as we are.
  • You know whats fucking scary? The fact that I could literally change my life at any moment. I could stop talking to everyone that makes me unhappy. I could kiss whoever i want. I could shave my head or get on a plane or take my own life. Nothing is stopping me. The entire world is in my hands, and I have no idea what to do with it.
  • “
    Dear Future Daughter:
    1) When you’re at some party, chain smoking on the roof with some strange girl with blue hair and exorbitant large dark eyes, ask her about her day. I promise you, you won’t regret it. Often times you’ll find the strangest of people have the most captivating of stories to tell.
    2) Please, never mistake desire for love. Love will engulf your soul, whilst desire will emerge as acid, slowly making it’s way through your veins, gradually burning you from the inside out.
    3) No one is going to fucking save you, anything you’ve read or heard otherwise is bullshit.
    4) One day a boy is going to come along who’s touch feels like fire and who’s words taste like vanilla, when he leaves you, you will want to die. If you know anything at all, know that it is only temporary.
    5) Your mental health comes before school baby, always. If its midnight, and you have an exam the next day but your hands have been shaking for the past hour and a half and you’re not so sure you want to be alive anymore, pull out that carton of Ben and Jerry’s and afterwards, go the fuck to bed. So what if you get a 68% on the exam the next day? You took care of yourself and at the end of the day that will always come before a high test score. To hell with anyone who tells you differently.
    ”
  • ideas for a self care day:
    • sleep in and stay under the covers when you wake up, get very comfortable and warm
    • if you want to get out of bed, pick something cozy to wear
    • drink very cold water or hot tea
    • doodle aimlessly
    • read a book you love dearly
    • sleep some more
    • go outside, even if its just your backyard, and relax
    • look at tiny beautiful things like flowers and ants
    • listen to music that makes you want to dance and dance your heart out
    pls be kind to yrself and yr body i love u
  • If ur feeling small today I dare you to sit up straighter, look someone who scares u directly in the eye, take up room at the dinner table, make yourself bigger, when ‘sorry’ laps at the back of your tongue, tries to pick up after you, remind yourself that your existence doesn’t demand an apology, that you are allowed to make mess and take up space, do not be afraid to expand. Every single goddamn minute. Expand, expand, expand
  • Forgive. Forget. Fake it. Chin up. Wear lipstick, make lists, make sure your voicemail isn’t full. Mix protein shakes, send timely thank you notes, sip drinks more slowly, stare at adults’ eyebrows, smile without dimples, develop perfect posture. Be gracious, be kind, eliminate self-pity. Look in the mirror and shift your internal monologue from ‘How do I look?’ to ‘This is my face,’ from ‘What the hell am I doing?’ to ‘This is my life.’ Capitalize your emails, read the news, walk briskly, stay focused, and never, ever let on that you are somewhat lost and sometimes lonely and so completely confused (and would someone please just let me know what it is I’m supposed to do next, where exactly I’m supposed to go–). Just keep going. Go, and do not stop.”
  • “Too many young girls don’t know how to act when someone’s being inappropriate with them. They giggle or they try to brush it off. Don’t do that. Tell them to go fuck themselves - be a bitch. If someone’s being disrespectful to you, be disrespectful right back. Show them the same amount of respect that they show you.”
  • Do not touch your body with bad intentions. Rub your belly when it is full. Stroke your soft skin. Hug yourself, even if it’s silly, because it feels nice. Pleasure yourself. Do not touch your body with bad intentions. Do not pinch at the fat on your stomach. Do not scratch at your skin. Do not hate the shell you’re encased in.
  • “We’re young! We’re supposed to drink too much, we’re supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each others brains out. We are designed to party! This is it! Yeah, so a few of us will overdose, or go mental. But Charles Darwin said, ‘You can’t make an omlette, without breaking a few eggs.’ And that’s what it’s all about, breaking eggs. And by eggs, I do mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of class A’s! If you could just see yourselves. It breaks my heart; you’re wearing cardigans! We had it all. We fucked up, bigger, and better than any generation that came before us! WE WERE SO BEAUTIFUL! We’re screw ups. I’m a screw up. And I plan to be a screw up, until my late twenties, maybe even my early thirties. And I will shag my own mother, before I let her, or anyone else, take that away from me!”
  • “It’s the curse of the teenage girl, isn’t it? Ridiculed at every corner. God forbid a teenage girl could have a passion for anything. God forbid a teenage girl could know what she wants. 
    It’s a fucking curse. You fall in love, it’s bullshit. You’re talented, it’s bullshit. You love something, bullshit. You care about something, bullshit. You destroy something bullshit. Something kills you, bullshit!
    We’re all so trivial. Nothing we say has any weight, any precedence. Because we don’t know shit.
    What do we like? Who cares. What do we love? Who fucking cares. We hate ourselves and we’re called dramatic and self-obsessed. We love ourselves and we’re called dramatic and self-obsessed. Since when was loving yourself a character flaw? Fuck. I think it’s astounding. Why wouldn’t you want to raise a generation of strong, proud girls? I know why, because you’re fucking scared, and you don’t even realise it. Somewhere, in the back of your head, past all the patriarchal bullshit, you know what we’re capable of. And don’t look at me like that, I know what the patriarchy is, and that’s exactly my fucking point. You underestimate us, you reduce us down to silly little girls.
    In the back of your head, you’re scared for us to have voices, you don’t want us to have power. Because then, then we’ll speak up about the shit you put us through. And you know what? If you don’t educate us, if you refuse to educate us, we’ll educate ourselves. 
    I am so, so sick of this biased crazy bitch-teenager idea. Being passionate doesn’t make us crazy. And even if we are crazy, so fucking what? It’s you who made us like this.
    You, who raised your daughter to keep her voice down. You, who taught her it’s better to be meek. You, who told her she just drunk too much, helped her throw out her ripped underwear, and never thought to ask questions. You, who told her sex was an obligation. And you, for telling her it’s a bargaining tool. Her desires aren’t natural. Don’t act, don’t speak. Repress, repress, repress. Repent, repent, repent. Be ashamed. Shut your mouth.
    You shut it for her though.
    Every lesson, every time you ignored her need, you plucked out another vocal chord. And you kept going and you kept teaching until her throat was empty, and you stole her words and threw her voice box down a fucking well so no one would ever hear her speak again. And you think we’re the crazy ones? You’re draining the life from you daughter so you can stick it in a glass vial and give it to your son in law. 
    You want us to be meek? You want us to be quiet. We’re fucking monsters. You made us, you’ve silenced us, and now we’re going to scream and scream until you notice.    ”
  • “
    I’ve been a massage therapist for many years, now. I know what people look like. People have been undressing for me for a long time. I know what you look like: a glance at you, and I can picture pretty well what you’d look like on my table.
    Let’s start here with what nobody looks like: nobody looks like the people in magazines or movies. Not even models. Nobody. Lean people have a kind of rawboned, unfinished look about them that is very appealing. But they don’t have plump round breasts and plump round asses. You have plump round breasts and a plump round ass, you have a plump round belly and plump round thighs as well. That’s how it works. And that’s very appealing too.
    Woman have cellulite. All of them. It’s dimply and cute. It’s not a defect. It’s not a health problem. It’s the natural consequence of not consisting of photoshopped pixels, and not having emerged from an airbrush.
    Men have silly buttocks. Well, if most of your clients are women, anyway. You come to male buttocks and you say — what, this is it? They’re kind of scrawny and the tissue is jumpy because it’s unpadded; you have to dial back the pressure, or they’ll yelp.
    Adults sag. It doesn’t matter how fit they are. Every decade, an adult sags a little more. All of the tissue hangs a little looser. They wrinkle, too. I don’t know who put about the rumor that just old people wrinkle. You start wrinkling when you start sagging, as soon as you’re all grown up, and the process goes its merry way as long as you live. Which is hopefully a long, long time, right?
    Everybody on a massage table is beautiful. There are really no exceptions to this rule. At that first long sigh, at that first thought that “I can stop hanging on now, I’m safe” – a luminosity, a glow, begins. Within a few minutes the whole body is radiant with it. It suffuses the room: it suffuses the massage therapist too. People talk about massage therapists being caretakers, and I suppose we are: we like to look after people, and we’re easily moved to tenderness. But to let you in on a secret: I’m in it for the glow.
    I’ll tell you what people look like, really: they look like flames. Or like the stars, on a clear night in the wilderness.
    ”
  • Things that say a lot about people:
    • the way which they treat the waiter/waitress
    • how they feel about the weather
    • whether they dog ear pages or highlight in books 
    • fingernails 
    • and hands in general
    • their preferred creative outlet
    • how much they dread/enjoy talking on the phone
    • whether or not they drink coffee
    • if they ever forget to eat
    • how honest they are with themselves (and others)
    • if they correct your grammar
    • how they treat their parents 

  • “
    Bike, eat, drink, talk, ride the subway, read, read maps, make maps, make art, finish the Gates application, tell my dad not to stress about it, hug my mom, kiss my little sister, kiss my dad, make out with Noel, make out with her more, take her out on a picnic, see a movie with her, see a movie with Aaron, Heck! See a movie with Nia, have a party, tell people my story, volunteer at 3 North, help people like Bobby, help people like Mutata, like me. Draw more, draw a person, draw a naked person, draw Noel naked, run, travel, swim, skip.
    Yeah, I know it’s lame but, whatever, skip anyway.

    Breathe.

    Live.
    ”

  • things you don’t point out about people:

    • acne
    • cuts
    • body hair in places you’re not used to it being???
    • fat rolls/curves
    • how much/how little they’re eating
    • how skinny they are/what bones they can see because of how skinny they are

    don’t do it

    don’t
  • The best recovery advice any therapist ever gave me was to feed myself as if I were my own daughter. He explained that you would never withhold food from your child if she said she were hungry, even if it were at an “impractical” time. You would feed your daughter a variety of food with lots of nutritious value and also treat her from time to time. You would never deprive her. Why do you deserve to be treated any differently than that?
    1. Get some cheap dishes and break them when you get upset.
    2. Learn how to say “NO” and don’t feel guilty about it
    3. Buy something frivolous for yourself once in awhile, like a new hat. 
    4. Never again do anything you don’t want to do. 
  • “
    Leave your apartment looking terrible. Walk to the deli and see your usual deli guy’s eyes start to widen at your disheveled appearance. This would’ve horrified you yesterday but today it makes you smile. You’ve decided that everything that made you worry will now make you smile.
    Walk with better posture. Order two helpings of dessert. Ask someone to take you to a doctor’s appointment and refuse to feel guilty about it. You would do the same for them so why should you feel like you’re putting anyone out? Stand by your opinion that The Shins are a good band even when you’re friends give you hell over it. This is thrilling. Openly loving The Shins has never felt so liberating.
    Tell your father he’s a jerk because he is. Tell your mother that you love her because you do. Don’t tell anyone that you love them if it’s not true, if they don’t deserve it. It’s a privilege to be loved by you. Your emotional slutty days are effectively over.
    ”
  • “
    1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.
    2. Never cancel dinner plans by text message.
    3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.
    4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.
    5. Always use ‘we’ when referring to your home team or your government.
    6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
    7. Don’t underestimate free throws in a game of ‘horse’.
    8. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
    9. Don’t dumb it down.
    10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.
    11. If you’re staying more than one night, unpack.
    12. Never park in front of a bar.
    13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.
    14. Keep a picture of your first fish, first car, and first boy/girlfriend.
    15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.
    16. A suntan is earned, not bought.
    17. Never lie to your doctor.
    18. All guns are loaded.
    19. Don’t mention sunburns. Believe me, they know.
    20. The best way to show thanks is to wear it. Even if it’s only once.
    21. Take a vacation of your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.
    22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good.
    23. A handshake beats an autograph.
    24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.
    25. If you choose to go in drag, don’t sell yourself short.
    26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
    27. Never get your hair cut the day of a special event.
    28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.
    29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.
    30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.
    31. Eat lunch with the new kids.
    32. When traveling, keep your wits about you.
    33. It’s never too late for an apology.
    34. Don’t pose with booze.
    35. If you have the right of way, take it.
    36. You don’t get to choose your own nickname.
    37. When you marry someone, remember you marry their entire family.
    38. Never push someone off a dock.
    39. Under no circumstances should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant.
    40. It’s not enough to be proud of your ancestry; live up to it.
    41. Don’t make a scene.
    42. When giving a thank you speech, short and sweet is best.
    43. Know when to ignore the camera.
    44. Never gloat.
    45. Invest in good luggage.
    46. Make time for your mom on your birthday. It’s her special day, too.
    47. When opening presents, no one likes a good guesser.
    48. Sympathy is a crutch, never fake a limp.
    49. Give credit. Take blame.
    50. Suck it up every now and again.
    51. Never be the last one in the pool.
    52. Don’t stare.
    53. Address everyone that carries a firearm professionally.
    54. Stand up to bullies. You’ll only have to do it once.
    55. If you’ve made your point, stop talking.
    56. Admit it when you’re wrong.
    57. If you offer to help don’t quit until the job is done.
    58. Look people in the eye when you thank them.
    59. Thank the bus driver.
    60. Never answer the phone at the dinner table.
    61. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
    62. Know at least one good joke.
    63. Don’t boo. Even the ref is somebody’s son.
    64. Know how to cook one good meal.
    65. Learn to drive a stick shift.
    66. Be cool to younger kids. Reputations are built over a lifetime.
    67. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself.
    68. Dance with your mother/father.
    69. Don’t lose your cool. Especially at work.
    70. Always thank the host.
    71. If you don’t understand, ask before it’s too late.
    72. Know the size of your boy/girlfriend’s clothes.
    73. There is nothing wrong with a plain t-shirt.
    74. Be a good listener. Don’t just wait for your turn to talk.
    75. Keep your word.
    76. In college, always sit in the front. You’ll stand out immediately.
    77. Carry your mother’s bags. She carried you for nine months.
    78. Be patient with airport security. They’re just doing their jobs.
    79. Don’t be the talker in a movie.
    80. The opposite sex likes people who shower.
    81. You are what you do, not what you say.
    82. Learn to change a tire.
    83. Be kind. Everyone has a hard fight ahead of them.
    84. An hour with grandparents is time well spent. Ask for advice when you need it.
    85. Don’t litter.
    86. If you have a sister, get to know her boyfriend. Your opinion is important.
    87. You won’t always be the strongest or the fastest. But you can be the toughest.
    88. Never call someone before 9am or after 9pm.
    89. Buy the orange properties in Monopoly.
    90. Make the little things count.
    91. Always wear a bra at work.
    92. There is a fine line between looking sultry and slutty. Find it.
    93. You’re never too old to need your mom.
    94. Ladies, if you make the decision to wear heels on the first date, commit to keeping them on and keeping your trap shut about how much your feet kill.
    95. Know the words to your national anthem.
    96. Your dance moves might not be the best, but I promise making a fool of yourself is more fun then sitting on the bench alone.
    97. Smile at strangers.
    98. Make goals.
    99. Being old is not dictated by your bedtime.
    100. If you have to fight, punch first and punch hard.
    ”
  • yo fuck anyone who doesn’t want you in their life and fuck anyone who treats you bad and fuck anyone who breaks your heart because they’re all fuckin losers and they’re definitely not worth your time because your time is precious and the only people who deserve it are people who treat you right and are nice and don’t lie to you and buy you ice cream.
  • When you’re sad:
    1. Write letters to the people you love. Don’t seal them; don’t send them. Instead, stick them between the pages of library books.
    2. Eat raspberries off your fingertips.
    3. Venture outside and observe natural life. Watch a honey bee suck the nectar from lavender plants. Watch a snail slowly make its way towards the shade of a tree. Watch a hummingbird innocently fly above your head. Realize how insignificant you are.
    4. Smile at strangers; say hello. It will improve their day and your own.
    5. Write lists. They can be about anything.
    6. Read several pages of the dictionary. Learn new words. Write down the ones you wish to remember.
    7. Never feel compelled to apologize when you don’t feel sorry. It’s okay that you’re honest. It’s okay that you have a different opinion from someone else.
    8. Read books and watch movies from your childhood. A healthy dose of nostalgia is okay. Immerse yourself in your past innocence.
    9. Walk to a park and get on a swing. Go as high as you can; feel limitless. The world is yours.
    10. Eat if you’re hungry. Food is not the enemy. You are a human and need food to survive. You deserve to eat. Put those raspberries on your fingers and sprinkle sugar on your tongue. Taste the summer breeze and sweet aroma of jasmine flowers.
    11. Don’t marinate in your sadness. You are not a steak. You are a person; you’re irreplaceable. Open yourself up to contentment. Bathe in the rivers of Glee. Go for hikes with Satisfaction. Sleep in a warm cocoon of blankets with Bliss. Let endless happiness overcome your hopeless sadness. You deserve to be happy. If life is a game and you are the referee, be biased for once and let happiness win.
    ”
  • “
    1. Looking across the tracks of the subway and seeing someone in the window of the opposite train, someone who is reading the perfect book and who wears that familiar combination of tired and hopeful on their delicate features.
    2. Stirring your coffee in a small, quiet café where the music is just soft enough to remind you that it is playing every so often when you look up from your notebook.
    3. Exchanging a few jokes with a charming stranger stuck in the same endless, bureaucratic line as you, reminding you that you are not alone in your battle with everyday tedium.
    4. Sitting on the beach with old friends whom you are visiting for a few weeks in the summer, when the weather is just hot enough to permit you to stay out all night and enjoy one another’s company in a way you were always too busy to do.
    5. Reading old chats and messages and letters with people you used to love, and remembering what it is about them that was so wonderful.
    6. Looking at pictures where you are smiling in that unflattering way you almost never allow yourself to do, but you couldn’t help it because you were surrounded by people who made you just that happy.
    7. Kissing outside at night when you’ve had just enough to drink that your cheeks are tingling and you are afraid that the words “I love you” might fall out of your mouth all by themselves.
    8. Hearing someone tell you something that they’ve never told anyone before, because they never felt like anyone would really listen and actually understand.
    9. Seeing someone be kind when they think that no one is looking, because they know it is simply the right thing to do.
    10. Finding out that an old love is getting married to someone who is so much more right for them that you could have ever been, and realizing that you can love someone and not ever want them for yourself again.
    11. Sitting at a restaurant by yourself and getting so deeply lost in your book that you forget you are even alone, and you feel as though you are on a date with the world’s most interesting person.
    12. Telling someone that you’re happy for them, and watching their whole face light up with well-earned pride when they realize that you actually mean it.
    13. Waiting at the bus stop and seeing the most perfect person in the most perfect outfit who is looking at the map with just as little understanding as you once did when you were new in the city.
    14. Realizing that someone who is so very beautiful does not imagine themselves to be anything special.
    15. Hearing someone say “If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know” and knowing that you can ask them anything and they would do their best to follow through.
    16. Visiting someone when they are sick and seeing the way their eyes light up at the soup and juice you brought them.
    17. Sitting in the movie theater with someone and watching them laugh out of the corner of your eye when they think something is really, really funny. Watching their dimples and eye creases form and wishing they knew just how wonderful every little line on their face is.
    18. Seeing someone at the gym who is having just as hard a time as you but is still going at it every day.
    19. Reading something online that makes you cry, alone, at your computer, simply because it makes you feel — in a way you are rarely lucky enough to feel — that there are other people like you.
    20. Running into an old friend at the store and letting it bleed into a long coffee where you talk about every subject that you didn’t even realize had been lying dormant inside of you for years, longing to be confirmed and expressed and understood.
    21. Looking across the restaurant at the couple who is too happy to notice anyone around them, and realizing that sometimes we can get a contact high, a little burst of pure joy, just from seeing people who are that in love.
    ”
  • YOU DON’T OWE YOUR PARENTS ANYTHING
    IT WAS THEIR CHOICE TO HAVE, KEEP AND RAISE YOU BUT IT WASN’T YOUR CHOICE TO BE THEIR CHILD
    ANY EXPECTATIONS OR IDEALS THEY TRY AND ENFORCE ON YOU ARE BULLSHIT IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH THEM
    THEY SHOULD ACCEPT THEIR CHILD AS THEY ARE NOT JUDGE THEM ON A MINOR DETAIL THAT DOESN’T AFFECT THEIR LIFE
    DO NOT FEEL BAD IF YOU AREN’T THE PERFECT CHILD YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU SHOULD BE
  • “Picture yourself when you were five. In fact, dig out a photo of little you at that time and tape it to your mirror. How would you treat her, love her, feed her? How would you nurture her if you were the mother of little you? I bet you would protect her fiercely while giving her space to spread her itty-bitty wings. She’d get naps, healthy food, imagination time, and adventures into the wild. If playground bullies hurt her feelings, you’d hug her tears away and give her perspective. When tantrums or meltdowns turned her into a poltergeist, you’d demand a loving time-out in the naughty chair. From this day forward I want you to extend that same compassion to your adult self.”
  • you will get your period one day,
    and you will not feel like a woman.
    you will feel like your body has betrayed
    every promise it ever curled around
    your little finger. this is normal.
    you will get breasts soon after
    or before—it’s different for everyone,
    and you will still not feel like a woman.
    you will wonder why they don’t look
    like your mother’s, or anyone else’s, and if
    you hate them for it. you will come across
    someone someday and ache for them to crawl
    inside your body. wait. you are not
    a woman yet, even though you might
    feel like it now, sometimes. even though
    all of the boys in your grade get to be called
    “young men.” you will have hips one day.
    they are carriages for tomorrow’s generation. they tell you 
    your responsibility is not to yourself but to the child
    blossoming like a gift. they will tell you you will have
    a child. they will tell you it will be a gift. you will be
    told so much. you will be told how to dress for your
    body type, how to be gentle in sports and sex, how to hide
    a whole castle in your delicate heart and never show anyone,
    how to use the word “discreet” and apply it to
    all of your bodily functions, how to conceal tampons
    in your sleeves, how to yank at your hair until it lies flat,
    and how to preen the slime of your father’s disgust
    with your growing body out of each of your feathers. but
    no one will tell you where your clitoris is
    or that masturbation is not just for boys. or that
    porn isn’t always what real sex is like, and that you
    are actually allowed to fall in love with the folds in your
    stomach that happen when you sit down.
    you will have to research the word “autonomy”
    by yourself. you will have to learn to love yourself
    alone. you will hide your sexuality like a tooth
    under your pillow until you can stop being
    embarrassed about the way it was pulled from your mouth.
    you will never forget the iron taste of those pliers.
    this is all normal.
  • “
    1. Do not kill yourself. Killing yourself is very messy and your mother will cry over you. It is not beautiful or brave, and even if it was, you will not be around to see that.
    2. Washing your hair is going to be a chore. But you should do it anyway. Because you will feel better about yourself.
    3. Get up late. Have a lay in. Sleep past your alarm. You have a very long life ahead of you and for now you should appreciate the cold side of your pillow.
    4. He is going to break your heart but he’s just another male human who finds it hard to deal with Mondays, too. So in a month you’ll wake up and you won’t even remember that little scar on his knuckle you kissed.
    5. Don’t spend hours looking up what your name means on google. Your name is your name and you should go out there and do heroic and good deeds and give your name your own meaning.
    6. Don’t fight your demons. Your demons are here to teach you lessons. Sit down with your demons and have a drink and a chat and learn their names and talk about the burns on their fingers and scratches on their ankles. Some of them are very nice.
    7. Music is good for your soul. Rap music will energise you and boost your ego and pop music will cheer you up. Indie music will make you think and emotional songs will make you cry and think about that boy again. It’s healthy.
    8. Victim complexes are not attractive. Boys and girls will not date you because you are sad. They are not going to date you and kiss your aching bones and cure you of your dragging depression. Wake up. Take a bath. Do your hair. Be attractive.
    9. Sadness is not poetic. Depression is not beautiful. Laying in bed all day and eating too much is lazy and disgusting and it is not tragic or pretty. Get up. Go outside. Let the sun warm your bones. Live.
    10. If it makes you happy, buy twenty of it. Dedicate your life to it. Print it on tv shirts and collect things and draw art of it. Do not care what people think. They are the unhappy people you need to avoid. The abuse they will hurl at you is painless compared to how sad they are. Pity them. Remain happy.
    11. You are allowed to he angry. But the world is not working against you. The flowers do not bloom for you and when your mother shouts ask her if she is okay instead of thinking she hates you. She never will. The world walks beside you and is silent. It does not trip you up or carry you.
    12. Day and night cycles are natural. Humans only sleep at night because we used to avoid predators in the dark because of our poor eyesight. Stay awake until 5am watching bad reality shows. Wake up at 7pm and have breakfast.
    13. Eat when you are hungry. Being bored does not constitute a chocolate bar. Sleep with you are tired. Do not mindlessly obey the sleep at night rule. If you are not tired, do not sleep.
    ”
  • 1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.
    2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.
    3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.
    4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.
    5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything. 
    6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.
    7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small. 
    8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.
    9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.
    10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.
    11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.
    12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.
    14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything. 
    15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.
    16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you. 
  • “
    1. Go to a party and stay sober. Listen to the way your drunk classmates talk when they don’t plan to remember tonight when they wake up. Never talk about these experiences, just keep them for yourself.
    2. Start driving in one direction on the highway after school one day, pretending like you’re running away. Blast bad pop music and sing along. Stop in the suburbs when your mom calls you to come home, but buy your little brother a cupcake before you turn back around.
    3. Kiss your best friend. It doesn’t matter what sexuality or gender you are or they are. It doesn’t matter if it’s a peck or you escalate to tongue. You’ll laugh about it later, but it will always make you smile just for the memory.
    4. Smoke a cigarette. Let it burn your throat. Cough, loudly. 
    5. Take a stand for something you believe in. When half your school laughs at you, take it with pride. Someone agrees, even if they’re too scared to say so.
    6. Make enemies. Make the kind of mistakes that cause your life to implode. Lose everyone and everything to these mistakes. Only when you fall will you find out that you can pick yourself back up.
    7. Sit on someone’s roof and talk for hours. Forget about dinner and tell your origin stories. Let your guard down while the dog barks below. Talk about god. Listen.
    8. Steal Bourbon from your parents’ liquor cabinet and put it in a water bottle beneath your bathroom sink. Spike your tea with it when you think you’ve hit rock bottom. Pour the whole thing down the drain when it’s too strong for you.
    9. Become a stereotype. Buy a record player and combat boots. Wear all black. Dye your hair bright blue and get your ear pierced three times. Don’t care when people laugh at you.
    10. Make wishes at 11:11. Wear your pajamas backwards in the hopes of a snow day. Look for answers at the bottom of a bottle. Pretend writing things on your arms makes you special. Believe in anything. Believe in everything. Open every book and look around every corner. You’ll never look like this or move like this or think like this again. Enjoy it while it lasts or hate every second. But feel. Feel every damn thing.
    ”
  •  


  • “If I’ve learnt anything in 2014, it’s that you should tell people how important they are to you. Not because they could leave at any moment, but because they’re here now, and it’s worth saying something.”
  • A FAT LITTLE GIRL
    is eight years old, she’s got pink cheeks that her grandmother calls chubby. She wants a second cookie but her aunt says “you’ll get huge if you keep eating.” She wants a dress and the woman in the changing room says “she’ll probably need a large in that.” She wants to have dessert and her waiter says “After all that dinner you just had? You must be really hungry!” and her parents laugh.
    A FAT LITTLE GIRL
    is eleven and she is picked second-to-last in gym class. She watches a cartoon and sees that everyone who is annoying is drawn with a big wide body, all sweaty and panting. At night she dreams she is swelling like the ocean over seabeds. When she wakes up, she skips school.
    A FAT LITTLE GIRL
    is thirteen and her friends are stick-thin ballerinas with valleys between their hipbones. She is instead developing the wide curves of her mother. She says she is thick but her friends argue that she’s “muscular” and for some reason this hurts worse than just admitting that she jiggles when she walks and she’ll never be a dancer. Eating seconds of anything feels like she’s breaking some unspoken rule. The word “indulgent” starts to go along with “food.”
    A FAT LITTLE GIRL
    is fourteen and she has stopped drinking soda and juice because they bloat you. She always takes the stairs. She fidgets when she has to sit still. Whenever she goes out for ice cream, she leaves half at the bottom - but someone else always leaves more and she feels like she’s falling. She pretends to like salad more than she does. She feels eyes burrowing through her body while she eats lunch. Kate Moss tells her nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but she just feels like she is wilting.
    A FAT LITTLE GIRL
    is fifteen the first time her father says “you’re getting gaunt.” She rolls her eyes. She eats one meal a day but thinks she stays the same size. Every time she picks up a brownie she thinks of the people she sees on t.v. and every time she has cake, she thinks of the one million magazine articles on restricting calories. She used to have no idea a flat stomach was supposed to be beautiful until she saw advice on how to achieve it. She cuts back on everything. She controls. They tell her she’s getting too thin but she doesn’t believe it.
    A FAT LITTLE GIRL
    is sixteen and tearing herself into shreds in order for a thigh gap big enough to hush the screams in her head. She doesn’t “indulge,” ever. She can’t go out with friends, they expect her to eat. She damns her sweet tooth directly to hell. It’s coffee for breakfast and tea for lunch and if there’s dance that evening, two cups of water and then maybe an apple. She lies all the time until she thinks the words will rot her teeth. She dreams about food when she sleeps. Her aunt begs her to eat anything, even just a small cookie. They say, “One bite won’t make you fat, will it, darling?”
    A FAT LITTLE GIRL
    is seventeen and too sick to go to prom because she can’t stand up for very long. She thinks she wouldn’t look good in a dress anyway. Her nails are blue and not because they are painted. Her hair is too thin to do anything with. She’s tired all the time and always distracted. She once absently mentions the caloric value of grapes to the boy she is with and he looks at her like she’s gone insane and in that moment she realizes most people don’t have numbers constantly scrolling in their heads. She swallows hard and tries to figure out where it all went wrong, why more than a granola bar for a meal makes her feel sick, why she tastes disease and courts with death. She misses sleep. She misses being able to dream. She misses being herself instead of just being empty.
    A FAT LITTLE GIRL
    is twenty and writes poetry and is a healthy weight and still fights down the voices every single day. She puts food in her mouth and sometimes cries about it but more and more often feels good, feels balanced. Her cheeks are pink and they are chubby and soft and no longer growing slight fur. Her hair is long and it is beautiful. She still picks herself apart in the mirror, but she’s starting to get better about it. She wears the dress she likes even if it only fits her in a large and she doesn’t feel like a failure for it. She is falling in love with the fat on her hips.
    She is eating out with friends and not worrying about finding the lowest calorie item on the menu when she hears a mother tell her four year old daughter “You can’t have ice cream, we just had dinner.
    You don’t want to end up as a fat little girl.”
    ”
  • "The thing is," he says, "if you’re going to let someone in to make you happy, you better be prepared to let them make you equally sad."
    "And if you’re going to trust them to treat you right, you have to understand it’s going to hurt if they don’t."
    ”
  • “Do not go back to the past. Whether it is someone you once loved, something that someone said about you, or if it’s just a mistake you made. It does no good to visit a world that you can never change; become the person you needed back then, so that your future will be thankful.”
  • “Don’t go out of your way to have conversations.”
  • “If there’s one thing that 2014 taught me it’s that letting go is okay. Not everything is meant to stay in your life forever, and coming to that realization helps you find a way to cope with the loss. People come and go, but you can’t let that stop you from doing what’s best for yourself.”

  • "The more chances you give someone the less respect they’ll start to have for you. They’ll begin to ignore the standards that you’ve set because they’ll know another chance will always be given. They’re not afraid to lose you because they know no matter what you won’t walk away. They get comfortable with depending on your forgiveness."

  • "The person you’re meant to be with will never have to be chased, begged or given an ultimatum."

  • "I am too full of life
    to be half loved."

    1. Don’t be a bitch. If you’re gunna do it, do it well. 
    2. Tease the fuck out of her before going in. Put that tongue away. Kiss every inch of her, except her pussy. Inner thighs, neck, lips, nipples. Start at her mouth, work your way down. Did you get her neck already? Good, now do it again. Build the anticipation. She’ll love it even more.
    3. When she can’t handle the anticipation any more, go in for the kill. Eat that pussy like you’re on death row and it’s your last meal. 
    4. Most girls respond really well to clit stimulation, but don’t over work it. Some girls like it when you stick your tongue in, some don’t, so be cautious when exploring that option.
    5. The best way I’ve learned to do it is to start off slow. Long licks. Cover all of it. Slowly work your speed up. Go a little faster. Every been told to write the alphabet with your tongue? Fuck that. It’s stupid. 
    6. Have her lay on her back, put her legs over your shoulder. That’s the one of the best positions for her to get max pleasure. It also allows you to use your hands. While your mouth is going to down reach up with your hands, grab her breasts, (some girls like their nipples squeezed when getting eaten out. Try exploring that option if she’s down). You also have the options of using one of your hands to finger her or rub her clit while you lick. If you get into a good motion of licking while you rub her clit with your tongue, I can almost guarantee that she will go crazy.
    7. Think you’re done after she cums? WRONG. You’re not done until she grabs you by the hair and pulls you up because she can’t take it any more.
    Now go my student, go and eat that pussy like it’s your sole purpose in life to make that girl scream your name, Gods name, and every swear word she’s ever heard in her life.

  • "Let it go. Whatever it is that you should’ve let go long ago. Let it go. The freedom that comes next is something wild and true."

  • Find someone who understands your silence

  • "And when you love something, you don’t threaten it. You don’t punish it. You fight for it. You take care of it. You put it first."

  • If you find parts of yourself missing, do not search for them in somebody else.
    I swear you will find them one day; and if not, you will discover pieces you have never seen before.
    You are not a simple work of art.
    You are the entire museum.

  • "Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm."

  • lets just all go and live in vans and tell the people we love that we love them all them time and realise that when your only problem is the sun rising to early and waking you up it’s a fucking good life

  • "Love doesn’t hurt, loving the wrong person does."


    (v

  • "Psychology says, always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to help you grow"

  • "Learn your religion. Do not inherit it."

  • When a thing hurts your eyes, stop looking at it.
    When it hurts your ears, stop listening to it.
    And when it hurts your heart, stop justifying it.

  • "Because this is my life. And that’s the only explanation you will ever need."

  • "Learn to say ‘no’ without explaining yourself."

  • -I’m not searching for my other half because I’m not a half.

  • "Pay close attention to the people who don’t clap when you win."

  • "The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kind."

  • "And I’m still hoping that maybe one day I’ll get that drunk text from you saying how much you miss me. Not because I miss you, but because I hope you regret letting it end the way it did."

  • "When it’s over, leave. Don’t continue watering a dead flower."

  • 10 BETTER BODY AFFIRMATIONS

    1. Your body is in flux for the rest of your life. Think of your body as fluid instead of static — it’s always going to change. So get comfortable with those changes.

    2. No one will love you or not love you because of your body. You are lovable because you’re you, not because your body looks a certain way.

    3. The most intensely personal relationship you’ll ever have is with your body. It’s a lifelong relationship that’s well worth investing in and nurturing the same way you would with loved ones.

    4. You don’t owe your body to anyone. Not sexually, not aesthetically. Your body is yours. Period.

    5. What someone else says about your body says more about them than it does about you. Look past the actual snark to the person who’s saying it, because it’s only a reflection of what they think of themselves. That’s when you’ll see how little power their words have.

    6. Your body is not a reflection of your character. It’s a physical home for the complex and wondrous and unique being that is you.

    7. Take up as much space as you want. You don’t have to be small, or quiet, or docile, regardless of your physical size.

    8. Everything you need to accept your body is already inside you. There’s no book, or diet, or workout routine or external affirmation that you need to feel good about your body right now.

    9. Your body is a priority. It’s always trying to tell you things. Taking the time to listen to is of the utmost importance.

    10. Wear whatever you want. Your body shape does not dictate your personal style, and fashion rules that say otherwise are wrong. Dress yourself in a way that makes you feel happy and confident and beautiful, because guess what? You are.

  • "Say “Hi” first. If there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that if you want to talk to someone, talk to them. go out on a limb. Do not wait for them to talk to you first because, odds are, they’re waiting for the same thing."

  • "Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong."

  • Love everyone. Every leaf. Every ray of light. Forgive.
    1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
    2. Work at something you enjoy and that’s worthy of your time and talent.
    3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
    4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
    5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
    6. Be generous.
    7. Have a grateful heart.
    8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
    9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
    10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
    11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
    12. Commit yourself to quality.
    13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationship with people you love and respect.
    14. Be loyal.
    15. Be honest.
    16. Be a self-starter.
    17. Be decisive even it it means you’ll sometimes be wrong.
    18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
    19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the ones you did.
    20. Take good care of those you love.
    21. Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make your Mom proud.

    • subtleceiling:reminder to myself and everyone 
    • “You don’t write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.”
    • “The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair.”
    • “Tomorrow may be hell, but today was a good writing day, and on the good writing days nothing else matters.” 
    • “Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.” 
    • “You do it because the doing of it is the thing. The doing is the thing. The talking and worrying and thinking is not the thing.” 
    • “Your goal isn’t to make an extraordinary story ordinary, but an ordinary one extraordinary.” 
    • “The first draft of anything is shit.”
    •  “Thinking is abstract. Knowing and believing are intangible. Your story will always be stronger if you just show the physical actions and details of your characters and allow your reader to do the thinking and knowing. And loving and hating. Don’t tell your reader: Lisa hated Tom. Instead, make your case like a lawyer in court, detail by detail.”
    • “Read everything — trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You’ll absorb it. Then write.” 
    • “Adding a serial killer in your story makes it interesting.”
    • “Write what you know.”
    • “To sum it all up, if you want to write, if you want to create, you must be the most sublime fool that God ever turned out and sent rambling. You must write every single day of your life. You must read dreadful dumb books and glorious books, and let them wrestle in beautiful fights inside your head, vulgar one moment, brilliant the next. You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads.
      I wish for you a wrestling match with your Creative Muse that will last a lifetime.
      I wish craziness and foolishness and madness upon you.
      May you live with hysteria, and out of it make fine stories — science fiction or otherwise.
      Which finally means, may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.”
    • “The more you read, the better you read; the more you write, the better you write; the more you write, the better you read; the more you read, the better you write.” 
    • Allow yourself to write badly, then once finished go back and make it better.”
    • “Every sentence must lead logically into the next one.”
    • Love words, agonize over sentences. And pay attention to the world.
    • “Write everyday. Don’t worry about it being crap, WRITE it anyway.”
    • “Close the door. Write with no one looking over your shoulder. Don’t try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It’s the one and only thing you have to offer.”

    • 1. Be spontaneous and break your routine.

    • 2. Try new things.

    • 3. Speak up when you’re being treated unfairly at work.

    • 4. And if your job sucks, milk it for all it’s worth.

    • 5. Eat whatever your heart desires.

    • 6. Don’t lead anyone on.

    • 7. On the other hand, if you love someone, tell ‘em.

    • 8. Have lots of sex.

    • 9. Sext wisely.

    • 10. Get a power suit.

    • 11. Don’t rely on your parents when you’re well into adulthood.

    • 12. Work hard for your money.

    • 13. At the same time, though, don’t take life so seriously.

    • 14. Compliment others.

    • 15. And lastly, stay out late. Party all night.


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